“And one day, the girl with the books
became the woman writing them.“
I guess it is official now: I want to make one of my many many childhood dreams come true and write my own books (plural intended, I already know that I will not settle for just one)!
Do not worry though, neither will I be writing one of those how-to-live-happy-and-healthy-and-wealthy-influencer-books, nor will I publish a biography that nobody would be interested anyway. Instead, I had always dreamed of writing novels. Cheesy and romantic yet deep and meaningful novels. Those you just cannot put aside once you have started reading, those you entirely lose yourself in and let them carry you away into a whole different world. Those you do not read but experience.
It all started in primary school when my German teacher used one of my essays as a paramount example and thus my fellow students insisted on me becoming an author some day (I do not remember much of my childhood, but for some reason, that I remember vividly!) Back then, I did not really take it seriously. I was proud of my writing skills, sure thing, but dreaming of becoming either a super star or a teacher (what a combination…), I put that thought aside. However, it did ignite something inside of me. It sparked an idea that I did not expect to stick in my mind for more than a decade.
As I grew older, my love for books never ceased. I greatly enjoyed losing myself in the stories they told, savoring each sentence that was constructed so thoughtfully, each word chosen so deliberately.
And that little spark turned into a flame.
I was not yet ready though.
Throughout middle and high school I kept working on my language skills and quickly acquired a special liking for the English language (my mother tongue is German btw). Hence, I also started adding English books to my collection, not quite understanding everything but trying my best to keep up.
Time flew by and before I even knew, I graduated, both my German and my English teacher encouraging me not to let my sense of language go to waste entirely.
I did not plan on it.
And honestly, the encouragement I received from the teachers in my linguistic subjects as well as some of my fellow students only added fuel to the flame, so by the time I graduated, it was so longer a flame. It was a raging fire. My fingertips were burning to finally start writing out all of the stories I had already made up in my mind but something was still holding me back:
It was the same fear, the same doubts and insecurities that had already destroyed so many of my dreams throughout my teenage years.
Knowing that my language skills would not even come close to those of professional authors, I never dared to even try anything, especially since I had set my mind on writing in English by then, a language that I did not grow up with. But I really wanted my work to be accessible for as many people as possible and, beside that, take the chance to further improve my English phraseology.
Self-conscious as I am though, I staved myself off month after month, saying I’d start “once I’m good enough“. It took me way too long, but eventually – finally! – the realization dawned on me: I would never be “good enough“, I just had to start.
So here I am, trying to write my first book.
I know that linguistically it won’t be as good as one written by a native speaker. It might turn out too short for a proper book and it might bore one or another. It might miss some dramaturgical elements and it might be full of mistakes regarding spelling and punctuation.
But the only way to improve these things is to practice. And that is exactly what I am up to – no more excuses.
Although this sounds quite enthusiastic and although I am really trying to make this work, please do not get too excited too quickly – I do not yet know whether or not, and if, when and how I will actually publish those stories. Writing is a creative and also a very personal process that takes a whole lot of time and thought, it is not like I sit down and the words just come pouring out of me. Aside from that, putting oneself under time pressure to finish a story is the most counterproductive thing one can do, as not only the linguistic quality but also the plot will suffer in consequence.
So until the time has come to chronicle about some actual books of mine, I want to use this blog to just write things off my chest, perhaps share some tips and thoughts on my writing experience and maybe throw in sneak peaks of my stories-in-progress every now and then. 🙂
Regardless of whether you will actually end up reading them or not, I would like to thank you guys for all of your support up until now and for everything that is yet to come! If you have any questions, want to share your thoughts or get in touch with me for whatever reason, feel free to hit me up at any time! You can contact me via Instagram or send me an e-mail, I will always make time to chat with you! ^^
xx Jeannine
